


Words Are Weights

by little_shinra



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autism Spectrum, Crushes, Gen, M/M, Neurodiversity, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Shukita, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 06:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_shinra/pseuds/little_shinra
Summary: Silence isn't a bad thing. It doesn't need to be filled.





	Words Are Weights

**Author's Note:**

> This originally was a vent fic, then became a "let's do a Shukita thing before it became Shukita."
> 
> Like Concealment of Pain, it follows the headcanon that the Protag is autistic.

Pego didn’t enjoy talking. It was the way people talked, the way they looked at him when he forced himself to communicate like them. A forced smile, an attempt to make an innocent jest was always exposed for its fakeness and taken personally.

On the other end, his silence was always questioned, inquired, challenged. Suddenly, his state was brought to concern. What could possibly be wrong?

Pego hated it. Talking was tiring with all the extra words and the care he had to place just to get by without receiving that expression of disapproval or polite judgement. It was a balancing act he resented. Each stumble was another reminder of how bad a performer he was when his mouth opened.

So, finding everyone avoided speaking to him, let alone looking at him, at Shujin Academy was an unexpected blessing. He didn’t have to try to talk more than he needed. He could stay as quiet as he wished without worrying about backpedaling at questions thrown at him. He wouldn’t have friends, but most of the ones he grew up with back home strayed as the years came between them anyway.

Pego spun the pencil on the surface of the desk, his head rested on his arm. It’s just a year. It’ll just be quieter.

A chalk stick launched its way toward him, arcing over the heads of his classmates with his its target. He sat upright, dodging the projectile and watching it chip on his desk. It spun off and settled on the floor. Excited whispers buzzed from his classmates. The teacher that sent it looked utterly unimpressed.

“I catch you napping off again and I’ll have a word with the principal, Sakahara,” he warned.

Pego slouched in his chair. _Wasn’t napping, for one._

He went back to spinning the pencil around the surface, the repetition bringing a sense of calm as the lecture continued. The clock couldn’t move slower. He didn’t want to think about social studies. He already passed the material they’re covering. Thoughts of what waited after made the voice of the lecture fade, taking his mind by the hand to a world that entertained him more than the classroom could. If he couldn’t have his books to pass it, he always had his imagination to fill the time.

-

Pego expected the year to be quiet, silent as he navigated his schoolwork and his probation. Instead, he was in his attic room, book open on his lap. Across from him, Ann and Yusuke sat in their respective seats. Morgana curled on Ann’s lap, softly purring in happiness against her hand. Yusuke was taking the chance to draw them in his sketchpad.

Initially, when Pego met Ryuji and Ann, their presence was too much for him to tune out. He felt he had to be at attention as their host, leaving him exhausted afterward. It took time for him to be able to relax when they’d come up and greet him on a day off. By the time Yusuke came to join them, the two also grew used to his silent acknowledgements and idly chat among themselves without expecting a constant answer from him. Yusuke easily adapted to his silence, allowing him to be the speaker for the both of them.

Pego watched them as Yusuke worked his pencil into the paper, his form bent forward as he studied the other two.

_This would be a nice picture,_ he thought.

Pego tilted his phone so the three were in frame. The click of the camera carried louder in the quiet attic, turning Ann and Morgana toward him.

“Pego!” Ann shouted. Morgana’s tail fluffed as his own startled shout was drowned out.

“Don’t move!” Yusuke cut in. “It’s not done yet.”

Ann fussed in the seat. “That’s not the point! Pego, ask next time.”

Pego stared at her. “I didn’t want to draw attention away.”

“Still, ask me next time, okay?”

“Sorry.”

“Apology accepted.”

Ryuji came up the steps, a platter holding mugs full of coffee in his hands. “Hey, Boss sent us drinks. And I got the snacks,” he lifted the plastic bag hanging on his arm.

Ann glanced at Yusuke. “Are we done yet?”

“Well, I’d wish for a few more minutes, but we’ll have to postpone it for another time. Thank you very much, Ann,” he flipped the sketch pad closed. “Food awaits us.”

Ann sighed with relief. “Thank god, my legs were getting numb.”

Morgana groaned as he was shifted off. Everyone congregated to the table, taking their share, and went back to relative silence, broken by idle chatter. Pego spun his phone around in his hand as Ann read through a magazine, pointing at one page in particular.

“They wrote a piece on the planetarium in Ikebukuro,” Ann said. “The girls at work have said lots of good things about it.”

“A display of the stars and universe, showing its infinite possibilities,” Yusuke thought aloud to himself. “I should go there for ideas next time I visit.”

“They have a new show coming up on the outer planets and…” she squinted as she read out the next word. “Kee… Keiper belt objects.”

“Correct,” Pego said. Ann gave a playful wink.

“Thanks.”

Yusuke turned to him. “Perhaps we could go sometime. I hear the event is rather awe-inspiring.”

Pego twirled his hair. “S-sure. I’d love to go with you.”

He looked toward Ann and Ryuji and found the two smirking.

“Yeah! You two should totally go together!” Ann spoke enthusiastically. “I also heard it’s a great event to go as a pair.”

Pego felt himself scream. _Ann, what’re you doing?!_

“In that case, why don’t we aim for next Sunday?” Yusuke said to Pego.

“S-sure,” Pego fumbled.

“I look forward to it.”

While Yusuke’s attention was focused elsewhere, Pego shot Ann and Ryuji a look. The two casually occupied themselves with Ann’s magazine, trying their hardest to hide their grins. Pego sent them a quick text before setting his phone aside.

Now he wasn’t going to be able to concentrate for the rest of the week. Not if he had to figure out the words he’d been itching to say. Whenever he needed to express himself, texting was his avenue, his free space. For what he wanted to say though, it didn’t feel right. It felt too impersonal to give such feelings through a digital message. They were words he didn’t want to fumble or be taken differently from their truth. They were words he didn’t know how much longer he could keep in his chest, stuck in his throat.

Pego snuck a glance at Yusuke. Even in the silence, the artist seemed too good to be true. Life has taught him that “his kind” should stay five feet away from others. Keep their existence out of sight. Fade away to ease society.

_Surely… Surely, Yusuke won’t see that way…_

He won’t know his answer till Sunday.


End file.
